Do not trust
by readerw
Summary: Who can you trust ? - An ongoing story of love and hunger, trust and betrayal. SSOC (relance - especially changes in ch.9)
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize from the Harry Potter Books belongs to JK Rowlings, bless her. Anything else is mine. 

Chapter 1: Nightmares

Kate woke up with her heart pounding. It was dark, rain hammering against her window. She looked around herself, the furniture of her bedroom scarcely recognizable by the dim street-light outside. Everything was normal – or what counted for normal lately. She thought of her nightmare, always the same, every night for half a year now. It had started around the same time the other odd things had began – glass breaking, when she was angry, a small explosion in a dustbin one day, when she had been frustrated by her boss's refusal to keep her in his office after her trial period had been over. She didn't understand what was going on, why these things happened, but even she had to admit, that somehow they had to do with her. She had no idea how.

And the nightmares: She would always find herself in place she had never been to, even though it looked familiar to her in her dream, and so real. It was a castle, with an enormous number of rooms and staircases, which, she knew for some reason, would move on occasion. But the disturbing thing was not the castle, it was the battle going on in it. 

People in black robes, wearing cold ebony-coloured masks, were hunting others, "shooting" at them with sticks. Dead bodies covered the floors, most of them those of children. She was standing with the back to a stone wall, staring helplessly at the dead children, unable to scream despite the horror of it. And then a tall man was at her side, dressed in black as well, but without the mask. Strong black eyes looked at her, asking her to help him, to fight with him. "Don't trust him !" a voice shouted from the other end of the hall, where a small group still resisted the black-clad murderers. "Never trust him !" The man just continued looking at her, his expression blank. _I have to go with him, _she thought, but the shouting voice made her doubt. She couldn't move, unable to decide whether she should follow the man's unspoken – was it a plea ? – or be careful. Then it was too late, a high, screeching, giggle was heard and the man was involved in a red light, his face turning in pain. He sank to his knees, and than the walls around her started to crumble.

She always woke up then, feeling as if a horrible guilt had settled over her. Nothing ever changed, she had willed herself to go with him, the next time her dream would turn up, but always, at the last second, the doubts had overcome her. 

Kate shook her head. All this was driving her mad. She looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table: 10 o'clock. As many nights of interrupted sleep had left her in a state of constant exhaustion – as well as many days of trying to keep a job, actually – she had dropped on her bed early that day. But no sleep was to be excepted for the next couple of hours. She pondered what she should do. She felt the need to go somewhere else, just out. _Might as well hurry up and try for a pub_, she decided.

Quickly she dressed and left her two – bedroom flat in Wandsworth. Not many people were in the streets with the rain still pouring down. Actually, she realized, nobody was in the street she was walking down, not even the occasional car. And it was very dark for a suburban street. There should at least be some windows lighted, but she could see none. She walked faster towards the next street-light. But as she got close to the circle of light it was throwing – it popped out. She ran. The next light popped out, too. Now she was panicking, she turned around a corner – the same scenery here: the street void of all people and the street-lights going off one by one. She was frantic now – this could not be her doing, could it ? The fear from her nightmare returned. She turned around the next corner – and stopped.

There was light. It was coming from a pub, that she could have sworn had not been here before. But it wasn't new, on the contrary it looked like one of those places that had been there since the times of Merry Old England, nothing like the fancy places that were opening now everywhere in Central London. She took a deep breath and walked towards it. "The Leaky Cauldron" an old-fashioned sign over the board said. When she opened the door, wanting to go inside, she stopped again. _Please, let me wake up !_ she thought.

Apparently she had said it aloud, because a couple of faces in the full room turned towards her. "May I help you, miss ?" a man – the owner ? – asked from behind the bar. Kate was lost for words: The people looked like in her nightmare – not those masked monsters, but they all were wearing robes, some of them pointed hats. It looked peaceful though, just so unreal.

"You might show the consideration to shut the door, I've no intention to freeze to death !" an impatient voice said. She turned to see who had spoken and opened her mouth in shock: It was the man of her nightmare, only now his expression wasn't blank but showed a scowl. "I'm so sorry !" Kate whispered, when the glass he was holding shattered into a million pieces.


	2. Chapter 2: Slytherin

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize from the Harry Potter Books belongs to JK Rowlings, bless her. Anything else is mine.

Chapter 1: Nightmares

Kate woke up with her heart pounding. It was dark, rain hammering against her window. She looked around herself, the furniture of her bedroom scarcely recognizable by the dim street-light outside. Everything was normal – or what counted for normal lately. She thought of her nightmare, always the same, every night for half a year now. It had started around the same time the other odd things had began – glass breaking, when she was angry, a small explosion in a dustbin one day, when she had been frustrated by her boss's refusal to keep her in his office after her trial period had been over. She didn't understand what was going on, why these things happened, but even she had to admit, that somehow they had to do with her. She had no idea how.

And the nightmares: She would always find herself in place she had never been to, even though it looked familiar to her in her dream, and so real. It was a castle, with an enormous number of rooms and staircases, which, she knew for some reason, would move on occasion. But the disturbing thing was not the castle, it was the battle going on in it.

People in black robes, wearing cold ebony-coloured masks, were hunting others, "shooting" at them with sticks. Dead bodies covered the floors, most of them those of children. She was standing with the back to a stone wall, staring helplessly at the dead children, unable to scream despite the horror of it. And then a tall man was at her side, dressed in black as well, but without the mask. Strong black eyes looked at her, asking her to help him, to fight with him. "Don't trust him !" a voice shouted from the other end of the hall, where a small group still resisted the black-clad murderers. "Never trust him !" The man just continued looking at her, his expression blank. _I have to go with him, _she thought, but the shouting voice made her doubt. She couldn't move, unable to decide whether she should follow the man's unspoken – was it a plea ? – or be careful. Then it was too late, a high, screeching, giggle was heard and the man was involved in a red light, his face turning in pain. He sank to his knees, and than the walls around her started to crumble.

She always woke up then, feeling as if a horrible guilt had settled over her. Nothing ever changed, she had willed herself to go with him, the next time her dream would turn up, but always, at the last second, the doubts had overcome her.

Kate shook her head. All this was driving her mad. She looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table: 10 o'clock. As many nights of interrupted sleep had left her in a state of constant exhaustion – as well as many days of trying to keep a job, actually – she had dropped on her bed early that day. But no sleep was to be excepted for the next couple of hours. She pondered what she should do. She felt the need to go somewhere else, just out. _Might as well hurry up and try for a pub_, she decided.

Quickly she dressed and left her two – bedroom flat in Wandsworth. Not many people were in the streets with the rain still pouring down. Actually, she realized, nobody was in the street she was walking down, not even the occasional car. And it was very dark for a suburban street. There should at least be some windows lighted, but she could see none. She walked faster towards the next street-light. But as she got close to the circle of light it was throwing – it popped out. She ran. The next light popped out, too. Now she was panicking, she turned around a corner – the same scenery here: the street void of all people and the street-lights going off one by one. She was frantic now – this could not be her doing, could it ? The fear from her nightmare returned. She turned around the next corner – and stopped.

There was light. It was coming from a pub, that she could have sworn had not been here before. But it wasn't new, on the contrary it looked like one of those places that had been there since the times of Merry Old England, nothing like the fancy places that were opening now everywhere in Central London. She took a deep breath and walked towards it. "The Leaky Cauldron" an old-fashioned sign over the board said. When she opened the door, wanting to go inside, she stopped again. _Please, let me wake up !_ she thought.

Apparently she had said it aloud, because a couple of faces in the full room turned towards her. "May I help you, miss ?" a man – the owner ? – asked from behind the bar. Kate was lost for words: The people looked like in her nightmare – not those masked monsters, but they all were wearing robes, some of them pointed hats. It looked peaceful though, just so unreal.

"You might show the consideration to shut the door, I've no intention to freeze to death !" an impatient voice said. She turned to see who had spoken and opened her mouth in shock: It was the man of her nightmare, only now his expression wasn't blank but showed a scowl. "I'm so sorry !" Kate whispered, when the glass he was holding shattered into a million pieces.


	3. Chapter 3: No escape

_Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize from the HP books is mine. This plot is._

Chapter 3: No escape

When Kate awoke the next morning she felt fresh and relaxed in a way she had almost forgotten she could feel. _Of course_, she thought_, no nightmare this time. Just this strange dream about the pub, the wizards, the wizarding school … Not exactly normal, but at least it had had its funny sides. It …_ "No !" Kate yelled, jumping out of her bed. That hadn't been a dream. They had brought her here, told her, that she was a witch and needed to stay and learn how to control and use her powers. A hat head told her, that she belonged to a house called Slytherin. She remembered the reaction of the man called Severus – or Professor Snape: Shock, anger (was he never not angry ?) and a flicker of surprise. Dumbledore had called the meeting to an end. Then she had been led to a room by a little figure with long ears – _Me is Tipsy, the house-elf, miss – _where she had fallen asleep almost immediately. 

_I just let them keep me here, _Kate now thought with desperation and fury at herself. _These people are mad. They kidnapped me ! I have to get out of here, before those freaks kill me !_ She looked round to find her jeans and jacket folded on a chair next to the huge four-poster bed. Quickly she got dressed, then walked to the door. _They mustn't see me, maybe I can peek out. _Slowly she opened the door and gazed into the hallway. Nobody. She opened it a bit more and squeezed out. Which direction now ? On the other end of the hallway she could see some stairs leading up. She made off towards them. "May I inquire what you are looking for – woman ?" a chilly voice stopped her. _Oh god, I'm caught. _she winced inwardly and slowly turned round, finding herself face to face with a stern looking ghost.

At the same time Severus Snape was one futile time more attempting to dissuade the headmaster from something that he absolutely disagreed on, but as usual the older wizard would not hear any of his objections.

"Albus, I'm telling you again that we cannot take care of her. **I** cannot. For Merlin's sake, she's a grown up woman. Is she supposed to share quarters with the students ? This is impossible !" Dumbledore stayed quiet, letting the younger man rant on. "If you have to let her stay her, put her somewhere else. Not Slytherin ! I have enough to do, keeping my students at bay. Can you imagine how they'll react to a woman that knows as much about magic as any muggle ?" He paused. This surely would convince Dumbledore, or not ? 

"She might actually be of help to you in this" was the unexpected answer. "I sent an inquiry to a friend of mine at the National Health Service." – Severus never stopped to be amazed at the range of Dumbledore's friens in places unusual for a prominent member of the wizarding world – "He could provide me with the information that she is a teacher. Apparently she has been working a different schools lately. He also happened to know a former student of hers, who told him, that she got along pretty well with her students." 

Dumbledore stopped himself seeing the fury well up in his colleague. "I don't need help with MY students", the man hissed. "If you are not happy with the way I deal with them, go and appoint a different head of house." Dumbledore sighed, knowing that this bout of anger had its origin in so many deep-lying emotions that shaped the wizard in front of him: pride, a strong connection to his own house, and, never to be overcome, the hurt of never feeling fully trusted. "I have no attention to appoint a different head of house, as there could be no better than the one who currently holds this position. And I'm not implying that you need help with your students. But don't you think that somebody who apparently seems to get along well with teenagers might be able to lighten your burden ?" he said, hoping to calm Severus down.

"She's not going to meddle with my responsibilities." Severus said. He knew that he was defeated once more. 

"So, what are your plans for her ?" he asked.

"She'll have to be tutored, but I don't think she should sit in the classes with the students. We'll have to organize private tutoring for her and she'll have to spend quite much time preparing on her own." Dumbledore said thoughtfully. "We should start right now, and, if you ask me …"

"What would the point of asking you be ?" Snape stated matter-of-factly. "You do what you want anyhow. And you needn't tell me any more – I fully well realize that I am the only teacher here for the summer holidays. Tell her to meet me after lunch." He turned on his heels and made for the door, his robe billowing behind him. 

He didn't open it though, because this was done from the outside. "I found the Slytherin Lady wandering about the dungeons and saw it as my duty to accompany her here." the Bloody Baron said, bowing respectfully, as he guided a slightly scared looking Kate through the door. _Slytherin Lady ? _"I didn't know you were so quick in installing your devotion on newcomers" Severus hissed to the ghost, overcome by a feeling of betrayal. _So the Slytherin house-ghost, too, had turned against him._ "And I doubt lady is the appropriate wording." he added looking at her jeans, the brown boots and the dishevelled blond hair. The ghost was offended. "If you say so, sir." he returned the angry stare he had gotten from Severus and disappeared. "You'll meet me after lunch, two thirty sharp" Severus said in an icy voice and stormed out of the office.

Two hours later Kate was sitting at a desk in the Hogwarts Library, in front of her a staple of books Dumbledore had recommended her to read, to find out more about her new surroundings and magic life in general. The panic she had felt this morning had slowly given way, not exactly to comfort, but to a quiet acceptance. There was no way for her to escape right now, but there didn't seem to be any immediate danger for her, either. She'd feel a lot better, though, if she knew what all this really meant. The headmaster had sounded quite convincing explaining to her the magic world and her own abilities. And the things that had been happening lately – or, she was close now to admitting it to herself – she had made happen seemed to prove him right. 

Yet it was a bit difficult to really believe in wizards, especially if they used wands, were robes, sometimes even pointed hats, in a whole looked like taken out of a Walt Disney film. It didn't help either, that she had dreamed about this place before – wandering around by the guidance of a ghost, who, after his cold introduction had suddenly become extremely polite, she had recognized the castle from her nightmare. And she had dreamed about Professor Snape, too. 

She kept thinking about him. _Why is he always angry ?_ she wondered. But somehow she felt more secure with his anger than with Dumbledore's kind way. At least _he_ didn't try to convince her to believe in things. 

Kate turned to the book in front of her. She had already discarded _Magical Muggle – or how to deal with your newly found abilities_ by some Ethelda Spinning. The title had sounded just right for her, but she found out that the book mostly consisted of laughable misconceptions about how people without magic were living and the assurance that all this could be accomplished "with just a handy spell". Kate almost enjoyed reading about "Stopping your telephone interrupting your housework with ringing noises" and she actually thought that "Keeping your curlers in place while fulfilling your marital duties" might make for an amusing read as well, but then she started feeling disquiet. 

Now she was submerging herself in _Hogwarts, a history._ After skimming the contents she settled for chapter 259: "Consequences of the witch trials: The final separation of the magical and the non-magical world". She didn't know that she was being observed by a dark shadow from the other side of a book-shelf. 

After leaving Dumbledore's office Severus stormed along the hallways. He had known right from the first moment, that all his objections would be in vain. They always were. And probably that's as things should be, he thought desperate. For everything he did, and for everything Dumbledore kept telling him, he knew what he was. A former death eater. A spy now. A teacher for 17 years. Potion master. The youngest head of house for centuries. And still, just a former death eater. There was no way of changing what he had done and been, and there was no way his present position would give him the power to decide on anything. It was a favour, not earned but given as a chance to – what ? Rectify what could not be rectified. 

He realized he had not taken the way back to his quarters, but was now facing the entrance to the library. Better to work than to keep wallowing in sorrow over things he could not change. 

Years of practice had given him the ability to move almost soundless, so Kate didn't look up, when he walked into the library. She seemed calmer now, than before. And, he saw, she was really working, reading and taking notes on one of the parchments that lay ready on every desk and were hardly ever used by those unwilling children. 

The seriousness she seemed to employ while reading surprised him a bit. She hadn't seemed willing to accept even the basic truths last night, and now she was sitting here, trying to work her way into this new world, by gathering knowledge. _Maybe not that un-slytherin._ he thought. _But she does not belong there !_ his anger returned. He fled the library and her presence, furious at himself for doing so. 

_author's note: _

Snapebelongstome – first (and so far only) reviewer of this story: Cheers a lot and a big hug for encouraging me !


	4. Chapter 4: First lesson

_Disclaimer: Everything you recognize from Rowling's novels is hers. The streetlights that turn off (ch.1) are from a novel by Douglas Adams (The long dark tea-time of the soul). As far as I know, I haven't taken anything else from anybody else's writings, but should you have the impression that something has been taken from your own writings, please notify me. Credits will be given where due. Credits for the rest are mine._

Chapter 4: First lesson

_Maybe lunch wasn't such a good idea_, Kate thought while she was following Tipsy to Professor Snape's rooms. The tiny elf had turned up in the library one hour ago and notified her, that lunch was being served in the Great Hall. Kate had been so submerged in her book, that it had taken her a few seconds to return to reality. _Some reality that is_, she thought and hadn't felt much better when she realized, that she was to eat in an enormous hall (_the_ hall) with no more company than the headmaster, a giant – well, she didn't know if he really was a giant, but he certainly looked like one – and another ghost. Professor Binns, as he politely presented himself, was the history teacher, who would never let himself distract from the rewarding duty of imparting knowledge to young minds by such a minor event as death. 

He didn't eat, being a ghost, but just participated at the meal, because he had heard of Ms Mehan's interest in history and was happy to answer all her questions. Kate surely had many of them by now. She had a true love for history and had found it amazing, to read about things she knew from such a strange point of view. If only it didn't all seem so – _Stop repeating yourself, _she reproached her inner voice. _We all know by now that this seems unreal to you. And ?_

All in all she spent a pleasurable meal. Hagrid, the giant-like man, seemed to be the hearty type, offering immediately to show her around the grounds. And Professor Binns was an unending source of information for her. The headmaster still made her feel a bit creepy, though. After all, for all his smiles and twinklings, he had decided that she stay here, not leaving her much room for decision. And how could he know and tell Professor Binns, that she had chosen to read about history, of all the books he had given her ? 

No she was on her way back to the dungeons. It was already 5 minutes past one. Kate had wanted to get to her first lesson in time, but she had felt bad about interrupting Dumbledore's friendly questions about her home and her former job, so now she was late. And she had the bad feeling, that Snape wasn't the type who would take kindly to unpunctuality. She was right.

"Being punctual was hardly to be expected by somebody like you." was the cold reply to her somewhat timid excuse when she entered Snape's office. It was a very cold reply, given in a silky voice, loaded with undertones of: _Silly girl, no way you should belong here, go home now._ At least that's what she interpreted into what he said, and this was, what made her discard all the angry answers that would have come naturally to her under different circumstances. 

Instead she considered the present situation: A dark, cold room, deserving – in contrast to her own quarters – the naming of dungeon. His position, almost looming over her, even though he wasn't that much taller. An angry scowl, the voice loaded with disdain. _Perfect "indimidate the intruder" setting_, she thought. _Seen before, but actually quite impressing. You can tell the practice._ Play-by-my-own-rules had always been her course of action when in a situation definitely put up to manipulate her. 

"As I said, I'm sorry. I didn't want to be late, but I was hold back by Professor Dumbledore." she said calmly. _Put blame where blame lies._

At least that answer didn't seem to work badly. He didn't insist on arguing with her about punctuality, just looked at her for a long moment.

"Come in!" he finally said. "I take it, you have done some preparatory reading by now ?"

"I read about the history of Hogwarts, from the witch trials to the foundation of the London School of Magical Economy, roughly." Kate answered, expectant of his reaction.

"And of course you didn't consider it useful to gather some – however basic – information on magic itself." – _Sarcasm now. Great._

"Well, as far as I understood, the book does contain some useful information about the nature of magic. But of course, I am completely new to this area. So, if you would tell me, what I should read to find out ?" _Keep sarcasm out of your voice, Kate. Let's see, how he reacts to this._

He reacted by handing her a parchment with a list of books – a long list – and the snide remark to read them for the next lessons. Still, Kate had the impression, that she had – somehow, in a very remote way, if at all – gotten his approval, or what went for it with this dark man. 

"Today we will work on some very basic magic" he then proceeded, leaving no doubt how basic it would be. "You don't have a wand, I suppose ?" Kate just shook her had. 

"Dumbledore had a set of wands brought down. Usually every wizard or witch has his or her own wand. But for a simple tryout, one of these might do." He looked at Kate, who nodded, unsure what to do now. "You will have to pick the wand that fits you best. If it's your wand, it should come to you, when called. Try now. Say 'Accio, wand!' and imagine a wand, which is yours, and only yours, flying into your hand." 

_How am I supposed to imagine my wand ? _Kate looked at the row of wooden sticks in front of her. "Accio, wand" she said, with little conviction. Nothing happened.

"Try again." 

"Accio, wand." Nothing.

"Try again."

"Accio …Look, what do you want me to do ?" Kate now was getting nervous.

"I won't explain everything twice. Imagine your wand …" "And how am I to imagine my wand ? What do I have to feel ?" she interrupted him, not really feeling up to staying calm to many more of these cold _you silly woman are wasting my time_-like remarks. She didn't get one.

"Think of the wand that lies in your hand, as if you were born with it. It is a part of you, it makes you feel whole. This wand is, what enables you to concentrate all your powers and use them …"

His voice was now free of the icy sarcasm it had held before. No longer trying to intimidate her, really telling her something instead. Kate concentrated on following his instructions and imagined something, that would combine with her, almost feeling the smooth, polished wood in her hand. "Accio, wand!" she finally whispered – and it happened.

"I did it !" she screamed, holding up a dark, wooden wand. "I got it !" she looked expectantly at her teacher. "What you told me, it really worked." 

His reaction disconcerted her a bit, though. He was staring at the wand in her hand in disbelief. "Put it down." he finally said. "It flew to me, you said, it'd me my wand if it came to me like that." Kate continued excitedly.

"Put. It. Down."

Kate obeyed. Snape took the wand and looked at it, then at her again. "Who are you ?" he asked with a dangerously low voice.

Kate didn't know what to reply.

"What's wrong ?" she asked. He gazed at her, as if she was a dark enemy.

"Who are you ?" he asked again. 

"You know who I am." Kate finally said. "I have told you everything, and somehow you people seem to have your own ways of finding out about me. I am the one who should feel at disadvantage here." They kept staring at each other. 

"What's wrong ?" Kate asked again after what seemed an eternity.

"Nothing." was the reply. Then, after some considering, Snape told her: "Take up the wand again, swing it so the tip draws a loop from the right to the left and back, then point it at that book and say 'Wingiardum Leviosa'. You want to lift the book into the air now."

It was almost midnight when Kate fell asleep that night, exhausted beyond tiredness. The lesson had continued for hours and in the end she had lifted a book and a cauldron, transfigured aforementioned book into – nothing much different, just a book half the original size with a pink cover - , and managed to call a couple of things to her, just pointing her wand at them. 

Snape had been a strict teacher. Breaks weren't a prominent part of his curriculum apparently, as wasn't encouragement. But his remarks had proved quite helpful. Still, his reaction to her first success with magic bothered her. And again and again he had stared at the wand, as if there was something unexpected with it. He hadn't allowed her to take it with her either, pointing out that a "mere beginner" would only cause havoc with it. His heart didn't really seem behind his scowling then, she thought. Interesting man, I wish … then sleep took over, quiet and welcome at first, until the nightmare set in.

At the same time, Severus was pacing up and down in front of the fireplace in his quarters, the events of the afternoon keeping him occupied. That woman definitely was a witch. She had had her difficulties with some spells, but that was to be expected, even though he would never tell her, that she had actually done quite well today. Unexpectedly well. Not like one of the few known cases of late-starters in magic, who usually found it much harder to perform only the easiest spells, and were hardly above squibs. She had had all the magic ready, just waiting for it to be focused into the right forms to work. And she had been able to understand, what she had to do. He couldn't help liking her a bit for it. But it bothered him immensely that …

He decided to talk to Dumbledore about it, even if it was late. He lit his fireplace and threw some powder into it. "Headmaster", he called.

"Severus, how did your first lesson go ?" came the cheerful reply from Dumbledore's head, dancing on top of the flames.

_How did it go, I  kept her for eight hours without a break._ Severus felt anger welling up in him. _Dumbledore's plan would mean endless hours of hardest work for both of them, and he sure had to know that._

"She didn't do badly." he finally said.

"Anything unusual ?" the headmaster asked.

Snape hesitated. "Nothing." he finally said. "She'll have to go Olivander's though, to get her own wand. The ones we have here won't do for her."

"Fantastic, we'll have to organize a shopping-trip to London then." Dumbledore said. Then he added "I know, what you're doing to help her. I'm most gratified for it, you know that."

"Good night." Severus replied and turned away.

Only when the flames were extinguished he allowed his thoughts free reign. Why hadn't he told Dumbledore what had really bothered him ? Maybe, because the headmaster's thank you seemed to pale in comparison to hers, which had seemed so – honest. Severus' mind refused to ponder about the fact, that this was the first in a long, long time, that he had actually believed somebody expressing something as simple as a thank you.

_Maybe I should have told him, that the wand she called to herself was mine_, was his last conscious thought. Then the nightmare set in.

Author's notes:

Aryn Synester: You made my day !!!  More brooding is ahead, actually, some more action, too. 


	5. Chapter 5: Of Nightmares and Learning

Disclaimer: As usual, everything in this story that belongs to Rowling's world of wizards, therefore is hers. The rest is mine.

*Same chapter as earlier this day, as first version was uploaded umcomplete. The best parts were missing !!! Flames to Microsoft.*

"Concentrate. Do as I told you, imagine yourself floating above the floor ! Goddamn, woman, this cannot be so difficult." 

Her temper snapped. "I **do** concentrate, and it **is** difficult, because I would be floating at the ceiling by now if it wasn't. Maybe my body doesn't like being treated like a book or a cauldron and refuses to be lifted."

Chapter 5: Of Nightmares and Portraits

Again the castle was filled with screams and the noises of fights echoing through the halls. Kate's face was stained with tears, her breath was going in rasps, as she tried to find her way to get out of it. Two or three times she could just stop and jump behind a door or a statue to escape one of those dark-hooded men, that killed everybody who came in their way. Where was the entrance door ? She had been so close to it a couple of times, but whenever she tried to reach it, the floor would just take an unexpected turn and leave her in some place completely unknown to her. Again, she could see it, just across the hall, and she started to run towards it. But suddenly a ditch opened in front of her and she could hear shouting nearing the. Desperately she looked for a way around the ditch and froze as she saw the man. She didn't hear him coming. His face was hidden under a black hood. He stood still and looked at her. "Help me, please", she whispered half-expecting her death. "If you want to leave, I'll help you." the man replied, he too whispering, in a voice so low, she wasn't sure she really heard him. Than the castle reacted, the hall shook, the ditch grew wider and the stairs seemed to pull her back. "She cannot leave !" It was as the walls, pictures, even the ceiling were speaking. "She cannot leave !" "Let me go !" she moaned, sinking to her knees. The man was still there, looking at her. "It's too late now." he said in voice full of deep sorrow. Kate screamed.

She woke up, bathed in sweat. It was pitch dark. Still, she decided to get up, she was too scared to close her eyes again. The only thing that had ever helped after these nightmares was a walk. _And look where it has got you._ Kate shook her head. There was no way she would stay in her bed, thinking about her dream until she would be too scared to move.

So she dressed herself and walked to the door. Then she hesitated – did she really want to see the same halls she had dreamt of ? Yes, she decided, and see that they hold no threat, and then be able to sleep properly.

She opened her door and stepped out in the dungeon hallway, which was lit by a few candles in brass holders. It was even colder, than it had been during daytime. Kate took a deep breath. She still wouldn't mind some company. Her whish was granted.

"Up so late, mylady ?" The Bloody Baron was standing in front of her. "Where do you come from ? " Kate asked amazed. He pointed at the solid wall behind him. Noticing her questioning look he put an arm through the wall. Seeing the arm disappear, understanding dawned on Kate. "I'm sorry, how stupid of me." she apologized. After all, everybody knew, that ghosts were able to pass through walls. 

The Bloody Baron didn't seem offended. "May I inquire about your well-being ?" he asked her instead. "It's quite unusual being up at this ghostly hour, if you don't mind me saying that." Kate wondered if she should really pour out her heart to a blood-speckled ghost. "I, well, I had a nightmare, you see and I couldn't sleep any more." she finally admitted. The ghost have her an understanding look. Apparently he knew something about nightmares. Encouraged she went on: "There was a battle going on in the castle and I tried to get out, but I couldn't. There was always something preventing me from reaching the door." 

She stopped, seeing the frown on his face. "And why would you want to leave the castle ?" he asked her. 

"I told you, there was a battle, people were dying everywhere." Wasn't that a very good reason to run away ? From the way he looked at her critically, it obviously wasn't. _Maybe having died himself made him consider death a rather unimportant circumstance._

"You should go back to sleep." he finally said. "You need to work hard and prepare." "Prepare ?" Kate asked. "Go back to sleep. You're not the only one who is having nightmares." 

"Please, can't you explain to me …"

"Not now. Sleep. Your dreams will not be haunted any more." He slowly vanished in thin air. "Mylady !" was the last thing she heard. 

The Bloody Baron had been right. No more nightmares plagued her during this night and the next ones. And, grateful for that, she preferred not to think about it.

Two weeks had passed in a whirl. Kates days were filled with studying in the library, amiable conversations with Professor Binns during meal times and extensive lessons with Professor Snape. She had made the acquaintance of some of the portraits, as well, even though she still felt a bit silly, talking to them. 

On one occasion, when once more she was wondering which direction to take for the library a voice had called out to her: "Turn to the right, young lady." She had looked out for the person belonging to the voice, and the fortune-teller in the huge painting – an old woman dressed in what looked like uncountable scarfs wrapped around her – had to wave at her for some time, before she understood, that the paintings here really were sort of alive, and from then on took care to give them a polite smile, when she passed them. Not all of them were righteous friendly to her, though. Especially the potions master hanging next to the door where the stairs down to the dungeon began never gave her more than a stern nod. _Potions don't make for cheerful people_ she thought.

The classes with Snape went on in almost the same style as the first ones. After some practice she usually managed to perform the tasks he set her, even though more often than not a couple of caustic remarks from his part and some teeth-clenching from hers would precede any success. Sometimes she was close to returning a biting remark herself, but she had to give him the credit, that he probably had had different plans than a one-to-one magic for beginners class on a daily basis. And he was a good teacher. 

She had her own wand now. On her third day Hagrid had expected her in the Great Hall, when she arrived for breakfast and told her, that they'd go on a shopping trip, to buy her supplies. Again she had to make a journey through a fireplace, this time ending up in a little bakery. Nobody seemed to be bothered by a giant and a young woman tumbling out of their fireplace, and so they proceeded to a bank. Kate found that she could withdraw money from her bank-account and change it into golden coins and bills with more moving pictures on them. This definitely did look like toy money, but she had long given up her resistance to this still strange world and just accepted things as they came. Especially as she had never cared much for money anyway. 

She bought the books from her list, as she always preferred owning books she would use a lot. Of her own decision she added two illustrated tomes: "Magical plants and animals, in wildlife and dried form." _Plants in wildlife ? Dried animals ?_ She hoped it would be useful, as actually she had never been very interested in fauna and flora and therefore had problems with some of her texts, especially potion, as she wasn't able to imagine something like _asphodel_. (It did prove to be helpful later on, even though Snape gave her one of his more impatient snarls, when she asked him, if _datura_ was this "weedy thing with white flowers".) Then she got herself some robes, plain dark blue and black. For fun she tried on a couple of others, but she would not be seen in pink and green stripes nor covered in little flowers, even if these changed according to the season, as the assistant pointed out proudly. Meanwhile Hagrid had gone to get potion ingredients, parchments, quills and ink for her.

The last thing to purchase was her own wand. Since her first lesson she had been very curious about that. The shop-owner had her try out what seemed like a thousand different ones, but none of these had given any sign of recognizing her as its owner. "And if I just say 'Accio !' and call it to me ?" she finally ventured an idea, as she was getting tired of trying out. "This is not the usual way …" the wizard started with a disapproving glance at her, but she had already said it. And held a dark wand in her hand, that had fiddled its way out of a neighbouring room.

"I wouldn't have expected this" the shop-owner said thoughtfully. "These wands are kept for … Never mind." he interrupted himself. "This obvious is your wand, and quite an excellent one, I dare say. Dark oak and raven feather. Simple in the make, but very powerful if used the right way." Kate just nodded. It looked very much like the one she had used in her first lesson, only it really gave her a feeling of being hers. She paid and left the shop, glancing back only once to see the owner release an owl with a parchment bound to its feet from the open door. It was already late and Kate was happy to get back to Hogwarts, have a light dinner and go to sleep immediately.

Now once more she was trying hard to focus on magic task, her patience wearing thin by her own frustration and Snapes impatient commands. "Corpum autoleviosa" she said as she had over and over for the last hour, and then shook her head. "I don't know, it doesn't work."

"Concentrate. Do as I told you, imagine yourself floating above the floor ! Goddamn, woman, this cannot be so difficult." 

Her temper snapped. "I **do** concentrate, and it **is** difficult, because I would be floating at the ceiling by now if it wasn't. Maybe my body doesn't like being treated like a book or a cauldron and refuses to be lifted." She folded her arms in front of her chest. 

He stepped to her, his face as angry as hers. "Maybe it wouldn't mind being lifted if the floor was pulled away under him, don't you think so ?" he asked, his voice pure silk.

_Danger !_ Kate thought, but for once, she didn't want to keep up her forced calmness. "I'm not very likely to find out about that, am I ?" she snapped back. _Honestly, getting the floor pulled from below her feet. _Her nightmare flickered through her mind, but there still was a difference between dreams and magic, she was sure of that.

"Aren't you ?" he asked back and grabbed her arm. "Come with me."

Kate yelled in surprise, but he didn't seem to notice it, dragging her towards the door. "Where are we going ?" she wanted to know, trying in vain to pull her arm out of his steel-like grasp. "You'll see." was the curt reply.

Kate gave up the struggle and let herself be pulled out of the office, along the hallway and through the entrance hall, finally out of the castle. It was a warm evening, the last rays of sun shedding a peaceful light over the lanes that surrounded Hogwarts. Snape let go of her arm, and she obediently followed him. They crossed the park and finally arrived on top of a cliff, its edge looming high above a lake.

"Now, try again !" Snape commanded.

Kate sighed. "Corpum autoleviosa" she said, not really expecting anything to happen. And it didn't.

At least not, what she had wanted to happen. But instead, she found, that she was now standing much closer to the edge than before and the rock seemed to be pulling away from beneath her feet. "Snape" she yelled. "Make this stop !"

"You know what you have to say. Do it !"

Instead Kate tried to jump away from the edge, back to the safety of the rock, but it was like jumping against a wall. And the rock kept moving away, she now could hardly hold herself.

"Say it, woman, or do you want to fall down ?" No pity from her stern teacher.

Kate felt tears of panic welling up in her eyes. "Corpum autoleviosa! Corpum autoleviosa! Come on, lift, please …" she sobbed, closing her eyes expecting to fall over the edge any moment. 

Then she opened them again. The rock was gone, she was floating in midair. She had done it ! It almost felt like flying, her body was supported by nothing, high up the dark lake beneath her.

A very dark lake. Very deep down. The panic returned. "No !" Kate yelled, feeling that she started to sink. Then she fell.

Severus Snape still was unsure what to make out of this woman. Teaching her wasn't as bad, as he had expected it to be. She obviously really wanted to learn things and she had a good grasp of how they should be done. Besides she didn't seem to take too much offence in the way he treated her, staying calm, even though he could sometimes see that it took her some effort. 

If there hadn't been so much mystery around her arrival at Hogwarts and her sudden development of magical abilities, if she hadn't summoned his wand, in short, if there weren't so many unexpected factors in her being here, he would almost have found these lessons pleasurable. But he had learned to loathe and fear mystery, as so often it held danger and death. 

Actually, he loathed close company as well, especially when it was forced on him.

And he wasn't a patient man.

And today he was exhausted after another sleepless night, trying to escape his nightmares. Not that this was a rare event. Nightmares had come to him for years, the screams of the tortured and the pleas of the dying echoing in his ears long after he woke up bathed in cold sweat. His old guilt. And the new threats, now that Voldermort was back and gaining power.

Death Eaters were roaming the halls of Hogwarts, throwing the unforgivable curses wherever they went. He watched the children dying, some of them pitifully trying to defend themselves, others screaming for their parents. He saw the teachers fighting and falling one by one. He was unable to help them, as once in his past he had been unwilling to do so. Screams, moans, pleas. And another voice: "Please, let me go !".

He desperately wanted Kate to get this last task done. 

"Concentrate. Do as I told you, imagine yourself floating above the floor ! Goddamn, woman, this cannot be so difficult." 

"I **do** concentrate, and it **is** difficult, because I would be floating at the ceiling by now if it wasn't. Maybe my body doesn't like being treated like a book or a cauldron and refuses to be lifted."

_So, she does get angry after all. _he thought. Then he had an idea. _Maybe her body really needs a good reason to allow itself being lifted. I can give it one._

Pulling her to the receding cliff _had_ been somewhat cruel, but when he saw her finally floating next to it, he almost felt proud. Then he saw her fall.

With a loud curse he jumped forward and grabbed her by her wrist. He pulled her over the edge and finally seated her safely on the unmoving part of the rock. Then he stepped back and looked at the sobbing woman. 

The sobbing died down, and he saw her tense. Then she looked up, fury blazing from her eyes. "You bastard! You murderer ! Did you want to kill me ?" she screamed.

"Why did you stop that spell ? Try not to be so silly the next time." came his calm answer.

"I almost died !" Kate shouted.

"You didn't. So, try again, now. I don't want to spend all night out here, waiting until you have finished with your bouts of hysteria."

Kate swallowed. "You really want me to do it again ?" she asked unbelieving.

"Of course. Do I have to write it down for you ?" His face was unmoving, no emotion showing on it.

"And how many more times to you think you'll be able to catch me last second ?" she asked with forced calmness.

"As many times as necessary." he said.

Kate swallowed again.

"Ok." she finally said and stepped back to the edge. "Corpum autoleviosa !" she said her eyes fixed on his face. 

That night sleep evaded her for hours despite her exhaustion. And when it finally came in the early hours of the morning, it found her still thinking of the look of deep pain in his eyes, when she had called him a murderer.

snapebelongstome: Cheers again ! You make me blush. Writing is so much more fun knowing that somebody out there reads (and even likes) it. So, here's another chapter for you. I hope you are not disappointed.


	6. Chapter 6: More nightmares

_Disclaimer: As usual_

_Author's notes: See below._

Chapter 6: More nightmares 

Brushing her teeth in front of the bathroom mirror Kate almost choked trying to stifle a laughter. _I'm a witch. I can do magic._ When after waking up she had remembered what she had done the previous evening, it had felt like being born a second time. She had floated in the air. And, most important, all of a sudden everything seemed real. Thinking for a moment – many moments, actually – that she was going to die hadn't been pleasant, definitely not. But it had made her realize, that it all was real. If receding cliffs exist, if you can die from them, magic also does. And she could do it. She was a witch, which was – hilarious. 

She grinned at her toothpaste-smeared reflection. "Accio towel" she said and it came flown to her. Then she danced into her bedroom. "Accio pants!" Accio shirt!" – _and it always worked!_. _Do witches have to bow down to tie their boots ? _"Right foot leviosa!" _Not a good idea_, she thought, rubbing the little of her back that was hurting from the rough contact with the floor, after she had lost her balance. Kate pulled herself together and completed her dressing the conventional way, but unable to stop smiling, and then set out to find breakfast and an amiable soul willing to share her happiness.

"Isn't it wonderful to do magic?" she asked the fortune-teller on her way up. "It's good to see you like it." was the unusually thoughtful answer, but Kate was already halfway up the stair. Neither did she hear the potion master's "Not a good morning !" – reply to her cheerful greeting, happy as she was. 

Only when she entered the Great Hall she noticed that something was wrong. The professors at the table – Dumbledore, Mc Gonnegal, Snape (_He actually comes to meals, who would have thought)_ and Professor Binns seemed to be immersed in an animated discussion, their faces looking grave. Mc Gonnegal even seemed to be close to tears – a sight Kate never would have expected on the stern woman.

"But I can't believe that there shouldn't be a plan behind it. You must have heard something …" she heard the Gryffindor Head of House, before she interrupted her with her own, a bit subdued by their grave faces but still cheerful, "Good Morning." 

Kate never had really enjoyed teaching, but she knew that it had taught her a lot about reading people's minds behind a quickly put up face. Three of the teachers turned towards her, looking as if she had just interrupted an animated exchange of recipes for Christmas cookies. One stayed as unmovable as ever. "What happened ?" she asked.

MacGonnegal and Dumbledore looked at each other. For a moment nobody said a word. "Well, dear, …" the woman finally started, but Snape grabbed the newspaper that was lying on the table and handed it over to her, wordless. 

Kate looked at the headlines, trying to figure out, what it all was about. "Family of five killed in purposeless raid" she read. The picture showed the ruins of a crumbled house, flying over it a shaped black cloud in the form of a skull with a snake protruding from its mouth. As it was swaying in the wind, it looked like a horrible kite. "What is …" she asked and immediately the answer came from Snape: "Death Eaters !" and then "She has a right to know what she's getting herself into !" as the other teachers looked at him disapprovingly. 

_Death Eaters._ She had read about them. They had been the followers of a dark wizard, sort of a Nazi-gang, who had inflicted death and destruction upon the wizarding society until their leader had been killed by a little boy – a baby – not that many years ago. Still she didn't understand. 

"But how come they are still there ?" she asked. "This Voldemort has been killed years ago." She noticed that MacGonnegal and Professor Binns flinched when she said this. 

"He never really died", Dumbledore finally started explaining, his blue eyes fixed on her. "He disappeared after he had tried to kill a small boy, for reasons we still don't understand. Somehow his death-curse reflected, and instead of killing the baby, it hit him. But he didn't die from it, as some of us always suspected. He was bereft of his human body, but somehow he survived. And now, it seems, he has come back and wants his revenge."

"And somehow he hasn't had any problems to find followers, even though after his last disappearance, the country was full of people who sweared by their most cherished possessionk including their wives and children, that they had only be forced to be part of his dark reign by use of the Imperius Curse." MacGonnegal couldn't hide her fury. 

Kate felt the cold rise in her body. The happiness from the early morning was gone entirely. For her, there was no doubt, that all this was true. So, this was being a witch. "And what are you doing about it ?" she asked.

Snape just snorted. Dumbledore looked at her with a sorrowful face. "We are trying to provide a safe haven for those who are ours." he said. 

"Yes, but I mean, how do you fight him ?" Kate asked.

"My dear, there's not much we can do. We try and protect those who are threatened by him. We keep warning the Ministry of Magic about the danger, but there is no real protection we have against a wizard like this." 

Kate stared at Dumbledore in disbelief. _He's not telling me everything_, she thought. _There must be more. They are not sitting around, waiting for everybody to get killed._ She nodded. "And this family that was killed last night ... ?"

"A wizarding family. Two of their children attended Hogwarts. The mother was working for the Ministry, the father was a muggle apothecary." 

Kate remembered that the Death Eaters had a poor-blood ideology. God, they really were like the Nazis, but they were now. "Excuse me, please!" she said, her appetite completely gone. 

She left the Hall and directly went to the library, where, she remembered, all issues of the _Daily Prophet_ were kept. 

It was around three o'clock, when she knocked at the potion master's door, after having spend half of the day reading up on Voldemort's first rise, his demise and all the events of the last months that indicated his resurrection.

No answer.

She knocked again. 

The same.

_Alohamora!_

Pink sparks. A firmly closed door.

Finally she pulled the knob, and to her amazement the door opened. 

It opened to an empty room, a desk filled with papers, book-shelves but no potion master. Kate stepped in. "Professor Snape!" she called, but without avail.

She ventured further and tried the opposite door. Once more she called, but not expecting anybody to answer she opened the door and found Snape reading himself to go out. 

"Go away !" he hissed, when he saw her. "It's my lesson time, I'm sorry, …" Kate stammered.

"Come back tomorrow! And now, leave!" Snape answered impatiently. Kate didn't need another invitation. She turned and left.

_Knock!Knock!_

Surely she was dreaming. 

_Knock!Knock!_

After a day like this, it was understandable that she was confused.

_Knock!Knock!_

The news in the _Daily Prophet_. Reading about Death Eaters all day. The memories of her nightmare coming back. Snape's odd behaviour. Hearing a knock on the door at 4 o'clock in the morning was an understandable reaction.

_Knock!Knock!_

Well, this did sound real. Like somebody wanting to be let in. Urgently.

_Knock!Knock!_

Kate could have sweared, that she wasn't dreaming right now. She slowly rose to answer the door. _At this time ? _she stopped herself. But the knocking was insistent. She took her wand from the table next to her bed and ventured towards the door.

_Darkness there, and nothing more. Bloody quote._

Kate felt cold. She wanted to close the door and retreat to the safety – or at least warmth – of her bed. _Coward!_ she scolded herself.

Finally she pulled over her jacket and decided to find out about the knocking. "Anybody here?" she ventured as she closed the door behind her. But no answer came.

She walked towards the steps. _Apparently I'm making a habit of walking around this castle at night._ she thought, but she couldn't help felling, that something was different. And no Bloody-Baron showed up.

"What's going on here ?" she asked the fortune-teller's portrain, but didn't receive an answer. The old lady seemed to be sleeping, her movements caused by the flicker of the candles in the hallway. It could have been an ordinary painting.

Kate accelerated her steps. She almost ran up the stairs, followed the hallway to the entrance hall. It was, as if she was alone in the castle. Nothing stirred, not even the portraits or the armours. _But who has knocked at my doors ?_

She felt the fear creeping over her. Suddenly she had enough. "Let me out of this!" she yelled, wanting only to return to a world without dark wizards, black nights in a castle full of ghosts, everything. The happy feeling of the morning was completely gone, she only felt fear, and the desperate need to get away.

There was the hall. Over there were the doors, the way out into a world she knew. Kate started to run.

The hall was only a few yards away. She ran, but she was still so far away and she never seemed to get closer. "Wait!" she heard a voice behind her, that sounded like the old fortune-teller's. "Stop!" the commanding voice of the potion master in the portrait up the stairs. 

"No!" Kate screamed. This was like her nightmare. She pushed on, escape now the only thing on her mind. "Let me out!" Then she tripped over something, stumbled and fell to her knees.

Before her lay a person, envolved in a black coat. Kate didn't need to see his face to recognize him from all her nightmares.

Author's notes: After a long time – a very long time – finally the story moves on. The only good thing about this delay is, that you probably have forgotten about chapter 6, which is good, because I changed it. For the better, hopefully.

_I honestly regret, that it took me so long to update. Here my list of excuses (all of them true, but I still accept honest anger): mundane job interfering in writing + deep unhappiness with some parts of the story by part of the author. Hope, this makes up for it._


	7. Chapter 7: To shoulder it

Disclaimer: Same as usual Chapter 7: To shoulder it 

Finally it was the sound of moaning that made Kate able to shake of the nightmarish feeling and act. Slowly she turned the body around – Snape's she reminded herself, the real one, not that of a man she had dreamed about before. His face was white and his breathing shallow, he seemed to be unconscious as he didn't react to her low voice calling him by his name.

For a minute Kate pondered what she should do next. Get help, obviously, but she didn't want to leave him alone in the Great Hall. She couldn't carry him to the infirmary, though. She looked around to find something or someone, that might help. The same moment she heard footsteps approaching and the next second Mme Pomfrey was standing next to her, a concerned look on her face.

"I don't know, what's happened to him." Kate stammered. The mediwitch just nodded and bowed over her patient, using her wand to check over him. 

"Mobilicorpus" she then uttered. Snape's body floated up in front of her outstretched wand and she started moving him towards the staircase. Kate made to follow them, but she was held back by another voice.

"A word with you, Miss Mehan, if you don't mind." Professor Dumbledore seemingly had appeared out of nothing and now was standing behind her. Kate turned around to face him. In contrast to Mme Pomfrey he didn't look concerned at all, just calm. 

"Do you know, what happened ?" she asked him, as she followed him to his office. "Do you?" was the answer – _not very satisfying_, Kate thought. 

"I haven't got a clue." she said, no inside the headmaster's office.

"Then, why did you find him in the Great Hall ?" Dumbledore asked her.

"I don't know. I was just walking through the hall and there he was. I mean, I didn't expect to find him here." _Just walking – running for it would have been a more apropiate way of putting it. _

"In the middle of the night ?" Dumbledore, too, seemed to find her explanation unsatisfactory.

"I was – I couldn't sleep." _You could sleep. Something woke you up and made you leave your room. Why don't you tell him ? But then, why doesn't he tell me, what's going on here ?_

"Please, professor", Kate said "I feel there are many things I should know. For once, what has happened to professor Snape ?"

"This is something I'm hardly able to tell you, Miss Mehan. You might ask him about it, but I don't thing it is necessary to concern yourself with professor Snape's doings, as there still is a lot for you to cover about your own situation." He looked at her gravely.

"I'm afraid, I'm rather concerned about the fact, we haven't yet been able to uncover the mystery of why you have discovered your magic abilities so late in life." he sighed. "How do you get along with your new wand?"

Kate was surprised at that sudden change of topic. "Fairly well, but, as Mr Olivander has pointed out to me, this was to be expected, wasn't it ? I mean, if this wand has chosen me ?"

"It has, it has, there's no doubt about that. It's just that your wand was not expected to ever chose a wizard or a witch at all. It was considered an orphan."

"It was what ?" Kate asked, not sure, if she had heard right.

"An orphan, a wand that will never find its wizard." Dumbledore explained. "I'm sure that Mr Olivander pointed out to you, that the wand finds the wizard he belongs to. That means, that for every wizard there has to be a wand in first place. Wand-makers don't fabricate them out of their own whims, they just know that a certain wand has to be made. Some wands are made in vain, though, because the wizards they are meant to be for, will never retrieve them, either because they died before, or because they lost their magic. In these cases the wand seems devoid of magic, as well. You see, the wizard and the wand share the same magic – if the human magic is lost, so is that of the wand. It's not much more than a wooden stick. As it is forbidden to destroy another wizards wand, though, even if he will never make use of it, these wands are just stored away. And yours was one of these."

Kate pondered the explanations she had just got. "But it makes sense, doesn't it ? I have lived all these years without magic, so my wand wouldn't show any of it either."

"That only brings us back to the problem of your magic abilities. It is just not possible to receive magic. You are born with it. It can only be suppressed."

"But you can lose it ?" Kate insisted.

Dumbledore looked into her eyes. She was overwhelmed by the thought, that she was looking right at wisdom itself. "You might want to read up on this question." he said after a long moment. "After you have had a bit of sleep for what is left of this night, of course."

Kate nodded slowly, knowing he wouldn't tell her any more. So it was the library again.

"Thank you, headmaster." she said. "I will do that." She left through the door, that opened before her, before she could touch it. 

When the door had closed behind her again, Dumbledore turned to the pictures of his predecessors. "She is bright." he said. The old men and women nodded in agreement. "She is insistent." Another nod. "She will find out the reason for all this, eventually. Which is good. But will she then do what we need her to ?" "We cannot act, before we know." answered a stern man dressed in bright green robes. Dumbledore nodded. "We will watch then, and act, when it's time."

Kate slowly walked back towards her chambers, her mind in turmoil. _Catch up some sleep, then go to the library and find out more about it. I haven't spent so much time in a library since working on my PhD, and surly never about what is supposed to be my own life. I used to know, who I was, didn't I ? Well, sort of, at least. I could go to the library right away. It might be closed now. Sleep first. _

"I'm not tired." Kate jumped at her own voice, that sounded unnaturally loud in the empty hallways. It was true, she didn't feel tired at all. Instead she felt that she had forgotten something. _Snape ! My god, Dumbledore has definitely managed to divert me._ There was no way she would go back to peaceful slumber without knowing, what had happened to him. She thought about what she had heard in the Great Hall at breakfast and all she had read about later. Had he been caught by Death Eaters ? Or – was he one himself ? Not very likely, working in this school then. Yet, he was sinister enough. She would find out, but most of all she wanted to know how bad he was.

She looked around herself, trying to make out the best way to the infirmary. "Excuse me, please" she addressed the next picture, hoping the shepherds in it wouldn't mind too much being woken up. "Could you please tell me, how I get to the infirmary the quickest from here?" "Up those stairs and then it's on the end of the hallway." the voice of the painted potion master said behind her.

"Thank you" Kate answered, then looked at him with a frown. His portrait was hanging at least three floors down from here. But there he was, impatiently looking at her from another painting. The little girl in it, probably its usual occupant, made sure to keep her distance from him, but she, too, nodded.

"Yes, the infirmary, good girl." came from the shepherd's painting.

Severus was trying out how much he could swear without his headache becoming unbearable. So it had failed again. Fortified with the best of potions, having prepared and practiced the strongest spell, he had only managed to get himself knocked out for good this time. And been found by the woman. He had a feeling, that Dumbledore would not be too happy about this, but Merlin's sake, the old man didn't have a solution either. His wise proverbs wouldn't help them when the hard times where there, and Severus knew they were coming. They were literally burning in his left forearm, the pain getting worse by the day. If they didn't find out in time …

He tried to concentrate on his problem. From the beginning. The first time I realized I can't get out of the castle's grounds was the night of the TriWizard Tournament. "If you are ready … If you are prepared …" He surely had been, even though his stomach cramped at the thought of what was expecting him, once he got back to Voldemort. He hadn't bothered to go back to his chambers, just wanting to get it over with. The nearest place from which he could apparate was a few yards into the Forbidden Forest. He had first tried there, but to no avail. Nothing happened, apart from the burning in his arm getting stronger – angrier. 

He had tried again and again, each time from a different spot, deeper into the forest, with the same result. _Impossible !_

Voldemort was calling him, the mark left no doubt about that. But he couldn't get there. Cursing he finally ran back to the castle, making for the broom-shed. He couldn't be sure where Voldemort was now, but he could at least try out Riddle's Manor. He grabbed the next broom and swang himself onto it. It shot straight up into the dark night, this time southwards. He only hoped, he would still find somebody there – and be able to explain away his tardiness. The next second the broom softly landed – on the Quidditch Pitch. 

He hadn't been able to follow the summons that night, nor any other. He could go to Hogsmeade to buy supplies, he could get into the forest if he needed plants for his potions, even London and Diagon Alley was no problem, if he had business there, but there was no way he would be able to leave the castle's grounds to follow a summons. Paths would take unexpected turns and leave him at the front gate again, the trees in the forest shifted, so at whatever he oriented himself, this would lead him right back. 

Dumbledore hadn't reprimanded him when he had come back that night, shocked himself by what he had to tell the headmaster. But Severus was sure, that he was disappointed, and had sworn to himself that he would find a way to solve this riddle. Now he was again where he had started.

Damn, he didn't even know who was responsible for this. It didn't make sense for Voldemort to call him and at the same time prevent him from following the calls. Dumbledore wanted him to go, as any information he could get was desperately needed for any plans to fight Voldemort, now that he was back. Severus had the suspicion, that his spying was about all of a plan that existed. 

They had checked for any ministery-wards put up, even though Fudge's reaction after he had listened to Harry had made it obvious, that he refused to believe in the imminent danger. So why would he have apparition barriers and other wards put up – and charm brooms, paths and trees as well. Besides despite all their efforts they hadn't been able to detect any additional magic at all. 

Some other Death Eater, maybe, afraid Severus might spill about their so-called loyalty and thus cost them their newly-found place in the Dark Lord's ranks. Hardly. The Dark Lord didn't listen to him more than to anybody else, which meant not much at all. And now, having refused the summons for over two months, the slight chance of him being accepted again, that had existed that first night, was gone completely. Besides, keeping it up – whatever it was – probably needed an enormous amount of magic and power, which was impossible for one person or even a whole group to keep up such a long time. 

Tonight he had tried to attack it with the strongest spells he had found out about. Hurling them over and over, he had used all his force to get forward through the forest, step by step, but try as he might, his steps had been diverted, the landscape around him shifted to change his direction. Finally, when he was so exhausted that his breath came in short gasps, there had been a sound, like of someone inhaling deeply, then he had felt a whirl of wood and stones around him. And woken up in the infirmary after being discovered in the Entrance Hall.

Severus let out a defeated sigh. 

There was a knock on the door, barely audible. He tensed. A second knock, not louder than the first. _Who could that …_

Kate carefully pushed open the door to the infirmary and slipped in. It was still dark outside and the only light in the room came from a candle next to a bed. "Snape ?" she whispered. 

"What do you want ?" he snarled back.

Kate felt relieved. That sounded like her teacher, not like the broken figure in the hall. 

"I'm sorry." she said. "I couldn't go back to sleep without knowing how you were."

"Now you know. Go." Snape hissed at her. He was touched by her unexpected sympathy – as he had been by her trust at the receeding cliff. But he couldn't talk to her now and answer her thousand questions, that would definitely come. He was preoccupied, he had a headache, his mark pained him and he was exhausted. He was lying in a bed, hardly a position in which he felt up to facing anybody, let alone her. So he resorted to his unfailing means of getting rid of an unwanted presence. 

Almost unfailing. Kate sat down on a chair next to him. "No, I don't know. How are you ?" 

"You do not honestly believe I'm going to tell you what happened at this hour, Miss Mehan. If you do, believe me, I won't."

"I didn't ask you what happened. I came to see how you are." Her voice was calm, ignoring his display of fury. _She has had some practice._ Severus thought.

"It's nothing bad, just a headache. I'll be up again tomorrow morning." he finally told her, hoping against hope, that she would leave. 

Kate nodded. "I'm glad to hear that, I feared for you when I found you unconscious on the floor."

"Yes, well, thank you for your help." Severus answered curtly. _Would she leave now ?_

"Miss Mehan," he started when he saw that she didn't move to get up, "I had a hard night and …"

"Did you know that the castle moves ?" she interrupted him.

Snape watched her in disbelief. What did she want now ? "Of course, I knew, it always has, and now …"

"Tonight I tried to run away. I haven't told the headmaster about this –" she gave him a short look "-I wanted to escape from here, but the castle didn't let me reach the door." She took a breath. Severus wanted to intervene, but Kate continued, as if anticipating what he was going to say. "It wasn't that I had got lost. I could see the Entrance Hall, I could even see the door, but hard as I tried, I just couldn't get there. It's the castle – it doesn't let me out." 

There was a long silence. _God, if now he sends me away again, I'll leave, and I won't know what to do and who to turn to._

"Why did you want to run away ?" Severus asked her after what seemed like an eternity. His voice was unexpectedly soft. His face, once more, betrayed nothing. 

Kate sighed. "I was scared. After last night I finally understood that all this is real and that I somehow belong into this magic world. At first I loved the idea, but then I heard about the Death Eater attack. I went to the library only to find out, that I am – or soon am going to be - in the middle of something like a war. I wanted to talk to you about it, but something was wrong with you, too. Then, tonight, somebody woke me up by knocking at my door. And nobody was there, when I opened it. Then the castle started to move. I was scared shitless and I ran. And found you."

"You tried to run away, but the castle didn't let you ?" Kate was sure, she could discern disbelief in his voice, and probably disdain. She had behaved like a child.

"I know, it was childish to run. Everything I have done so far, since you brought me here, either I refuse to take things serious or I run. I can't go on like this." She didn't know why, but the thought that he had no respect for her suddenly made her feel bad. Not that she expected an encouraging answer from him.

"And now you have decided to grow up in one night ?" The reply was as Snape as it could get. _Well, that comes from opening your heart to the master of quality sarcasm, _Kate thought. _What did you expect ?_

"I have grown up over the last thirty years, Professor Snape. You don't know me." Kate stood up, making for the door.

"Miss Mehan." She stopped and turned around. The candle was burnt down. The first twilight that filtered through the curtains hardly let her discern his face. "You said, you haven't told the headmaster about this ?" Kate shook her head. "No, I haven't.". "Then, please, don't talk to anybody about it." Kate slowly nodded. His angry "Will you ?" reminded her, that he probably couldn't see her. "Alright. Will you …?" "Thank you for coming, Miss Mehan. I'll see you at the usual time for your lesson." His tone left no doubt that their conversation was over.

She finally made it back to her chambers. At the stairways down to the dungeons she paused and turned to the painting to which the potion master had returned in the meantime, and from which he now threw here one more of his stern looks. Kate felt, that she definitely had enough of dealing patiently with foul-mooded potion masters tonight. "You wouldn't by chance enlighten me, why the castle insists on keeping me here ?" she snarled at him. "And if it is an integral part of your profession to scowl at people ? Let me tell you something" she stepped closer. "I will find out about this. Why I am here, why I can't leave. Why there are people roaming about killing others and nobody seems to be doing anything. And what is behind Professor Snape. And you won't hinder me, nor will anybody else." This said she turned and walked into her room, slamming the door behind her.

"Find out, young lady, find out." the portrait whispered. "And when you have, be strong."

Severus was still staring at the ceiling, when the sunlight finally put an end to the long night. _The castle doesn't let me go._ And he had never thought that this could be the answer. _I haven't told anybody._ Then, why tell me of all people ? _You don't know me._ No, he didn't. Not at all.


	8. Chapter 8: I don't want to

_Disclaimer: See previous chapters_ Chapter 8: I don't want to 

The next weeks passed in a flurry. Kate kept up her routine of library sessions and lessons with Severus Snape, the letter without her visit in the hospital, nor the nightly encounter mentioned ever mentioned. If something had changed between them, it was barely recognizable, and more due to her newly found determination to be prepared for whatever danger was waiting for her in her new life – the fact, that there was some danger luring finally accepted by her. 

In one of their regular meetings, Dumbledore offered her the position of a school-secretary, once the term had started. It was, as she soon found out, more of a non-job, as all the tedious administrative works were dealt with magically, but provided her with a reason for her being at Hogwarts in the eyes of any outsider, as well as a small income. And the opportunity to give her so far first contribution to the magical community: Apparently she was the only one able to prepare a decent coffee. Not that many people wanted coffee, the school being a throughout British institution, but as the term approached and more and more teacher came back from their respective holiday pastimes, she gained some approval for her addition to the local living standards. For a woman, who had once earned a PhD, she felt sillily proud of this.

When the term started, her life changed in a few ways. She started keeping office hours to answer students' questions or deal with heir parents' inquiries. She found, that nobody really questioned her being here, the teachers, of course, had been informed by the headmaster.

Her timetable also had to adjust to the requirements of a boarding-school during term-time. She now had classes with several of the teachers. The deputy headmistress, a stern woman with grey hair, always pulled up in bun, soon became one of her favourites. If in the beginning she obviously hadn't expected much of Kate, she seemed to be quite impressed, by the transfigurations the younger woman could already master, and – in contrast to Snape – had no problems expressing her approval. It was only a matter of weeks, before the two women were on rather friendly terms.

Defence against the Dark Arts was a subject Kate had really been looking forward to. Remus Lupin, the teacher, was a calm and friendly man, who introduced her to all sorts of dangerous creatures, practising useful ways of expending of them – or at least getting away as soon as possible – with her. 

Apart from professor Binns, who probably was close to extatic, to finally have found somebody who was actually interested in what he had to tell, all of the teacher seemed busy enough with their regular work, though, and Kate couldn't help feeling, that she meant more of an additional task to them, than they would ever tell her. The more it amazed her, that her lessons with Severus Snape continued on a daily basis, and that he by no way restricted himself now to teaching her potions. Instead, he often had her revise what she had learned during the day and made her practice even harder on the very subjects.

Kate was musing on this, when, once more, she was on her way down to his office, rather late in the evening. She knocked on his door and got the usual "Come in" for an answer. He was sitting behind his desk, obviously grading papers. 

"I can come back later, or tomorrow, if you like," Kate offered, seeing him working.

"Prepare the cauldron and get the ingredients for a basic nerve-calming potion from the shelves. They are listed in your book." he replied without looking up.

"Look, if you are busy, we might do this tomorrow," Kate tried again, feeling quite exhausted herself after having had to transfigure all seats in the transfiguration classroom into different kinds of birds.

The potions master looked up from his paper-work. "If you feel that an average student's time-table is too much for you to handle, you may of course retire." His voice was pure venom. "It would have been considerate to find out about your easy fatigues before I spent my time working with you, tough. There's no point in continuing wasting everybody's time, if you still haven't realized the importance …"

"You look tired, too." Kate interrupted him. It was true, his usually pale face now seemed to her almost white. 

"Look, I know, that you spend a horrible lot of time working with me, and that you have many other things to do. I just feel bad about causing you more work, so I wouldn't mind it, if we called it off for tonight." Still being condescending, she would never had expected his fierce reaction.

"Don't dare to use me as an excuse for your incapabilities" he almost spitted at her. "If you don't want to work, if you still haven't understood the necessity, leave now and don't come back. Otherwise, set up your cauldron."

Kate felt anger welling up in her, she had taken all his bad tempers with admirable patience, she thought, but this was getting too much. Her pride was hurt, she had never intended to back out of practicing.

She took a few steps towards him. "I'm not using you as an excuse. I have understood perfectly well, what all this is about, and if I say that all I want is not to impose myself on you, you could damn well accept it at the truth." She was truly angry now.

Snape didn't even look at her. "Then set up the cauldron." His voice sounded almost bored.

But Kate wasn't up to this now. She wanted to talk. "Tell me, what's going on !" she shouted. "Why do you spend hours with me, training me, more than everybody else here, but never acknowledge, that I did anything right ? Why don't you believe me, that I feel bad for disturbing you, even though you must be close to falling asleep on your carpet from the way you look ? What happened to you the other night ?"_ Oh, oh,_ she thought, this was getting out of control. Why had she asked the last question ?

Obviously it hadn't been a good idea. "Get out, now." Severus had jumped up from his chair and was now standing opposite her. Very close.

"No !" Kate replied. "You want me to act like somebody who knows what's going on ? Well, right, then tell me. What's wrong with you ? Why are you such a bastard with everybody ? It's not just me, isn't it ?"

"GET OUT !" Snape shouted, now standing right in front of her, his face showing nothing but pure anger and fury. 

"Look, professor Snape, I …" Kate started once more, but jerked back, as she saw into his eyes, that gleamed with fury. _He's going to beat me._ _For once, he really scares me._

_And what if !_

For what seemed like hours she stared back at him. Then she gave in. "Good night !" she whispered, turning to the door.

She opened it and, before she could set a foot through it, it slammed shut again.

"What … ?" she asked, knowing well, who had caused it.

Snape was still standing at the same spot. "You take everything as a joke." he hissed at her. "This is serious, you either work on whatever abilities you might have, or you die. And you might not be alone."

Kate nodded. She really wanted to leave now, she desperately needed to think about tonight's events calmly. She wanted to sleep. She wanted to get away from this scornful man. Why hadn't he just let her go ?

She stepped closer to him. "I do take this serious." she whispered. She took one more step. He didn't move. 

"You wanted to leave." he said in a low voice.

"I didn't", Kate answered. "You threw me out. And then, you didn't let me go."

"You can go now." 

"I don't want to." 

"The door is open. I won't hold you back again."

"I don't want to."

When their lips met, the kiss, that had started as an angry encounter, immediately melted into something new and unexpected. _Hold me_, Kate thought desperately, kissing him back. _I don't want to go, never._


	9. Chapter 9: The dark mark

Chapter 9: The mark

Kate opened her eyes to face a stern-looking potion master. That wasn't exactly a new sight to her, the surroundings, however, were a bit unusual. The angry eyes watched her from the other side of a huge bed – a bed with very crumbled sheets – and instead of the accustomed black robes Severus wore – nothing. Nor did she, she realized. And why would she, the time being a couple of minutes after midnight, as she could tell from the clock on the mantelpiece above the fireplace, that is, only a few hours after she had had sex – a very angry and amazing kind of sex – with said potion master.

It had started – doesn't it always – with a kiss, and from there went on into a whirl of motions and emotions. She remembered his breath against her lips, his arms pulling her into a tight embrace, herself driving her hands through his hair, and then _things sort of got out of hands._ No words of tenderness had been exchanged between them, while they removed each other's clothes, kept kissing, feeling hungrily for each other's body. Just their eyes were locked throughout – everything, the two bodies falling on the bed, moving together, again and again, turning, throwing each other over and finally reaching the point of ultimate passion. Did he cry out ? Kate wasn't sure, she definitely had. Their embrace hadn't loosened, when they sank back into the soft pillows.

_I fell asleep_, Kate thought. _Aren't men supposed to fall asleep after sex ?_ She saw that Severus was still looking at her, and not exactly looking love-sick. And why would he ? She had felt hot and burning passion between them, actually more passion than she could remember from her last experiences with sex, but all the other ingredients of their strange relationship had been there, too: Severus' constant anger, her defiance, a challenge always answered with another one. And that thing in him, that always made her go on, where she usually would have stopped. You don't shy away from a man, who has already made you float over the edge of a cliff. She definitely didn't. _I've turned mad !_

No, he didn't look love-sick, his eyes, as usual, betrayed nothing to her. _After such a night, I haven't gotten a bit closer to him_. But she knew, she had to do something, or he would, and she dreaded what that would be. Because she had never felt that right in a place, a she did right now so close to him.

"Hi, I must have fallen asleep." she ventured.

A single nod was the answer. "Look, Severus …" she wasn't sure what she was going to say, but he already interrupted her.

"I'm sorry for what I did. I shouldn't have given in to such an overreaction. I'm sure you'll understand that this will not change our relation as …"

"No, it won't." Kate now interrupted him. "And don't excuse yourself, I had every opportunity to leave, and chose not to. I will now, however." She got up and started collecting her clothes that were strewn all over the bedroom-floor, apart from those, that she suspected had ended up next door. Picking up her underwear she realized that it was torn. _I hope we left the outer garments in a proper state_, she thought, after all she had to get back to her room and she didn't want to be seen even by a portrait half-naked. 

While she dressed she wondered, what he was thinking. She had to say something, she felt, something to make sure, that their lessons didn't end, because of him thinking that she wanted … Determined to prevent that she turned around to find him still looking at her, the same scowl playing around his lips, that had been amazingly good at kissing her _everywhere_. She wondered if he even knew how to make a different face.

"Don't look at me, as if I had just botched a serious task. I'm going now. And I don't expect our relation to change." So, this should make clear, that she had no wrong expectations as to what this – incredible – night meant.

"I enjoyed what we did, though." Why had she added that ? _Well, can't be wrong, and it was the truth._

"I wouldn't mind repeating it." _She was mad !_

Before she turned for the door and finally left, she saw him nod.

Walking back to her own chamber, Kate was replaying the last minutes in her head – it had been right to say what she had said, hadn't it ? – when she suddenly felt a cold hand on her shoulder. Well, not really on it, rather passing through it. "Mylady's presence is requested by the potion master, urgently." the Bloody Baron whispered by her right ear. 

"I have just come from…" Kate started, wondering what this could mean.

"Not the present master. I know that you come from sharing each other's – presence." the Baron replied. Kate unwillingly blushed. _I have become ghost's gossip._

"Master Salazar needs to talk to you" the ghost continued, giving no sign that he had noticed her embarrassment. 

"Look, I'm really tired." Kate answered, she really didn't feel up to another nightly stroll through the castle.

"As I said, it is urgent." was the answer and the cold passed through her elbow, as if he was trying to pull her.

She gave in and followed the ghost up the stairs to the portrait on top of them.

"What do you want from me ?" she asked the painted alchemist, as soon as she was standing in front of him.

For somebody who had called her in the middle of the night on urgent business, he didn't look very receiving, she found.

"Two children have gone lost. Find them at the lake." the portrait hissed.

"The lake ? What children ? Why do you say they are lost, if you know where they are?"

"Stop asking. Go, there is not much time left."

"I have to get the teachers." Kate turned.

"There is no time for that. Go and get them, now !"

For a moment Kate stood frozen. Why should she follow the request of a portrait ? And if there really were lost children, wouldn't she have to get a teacher to find them ? 

But the portrait continued urging her.

Goddamn, Kate thought. I am … but then she said "O.k. I'll go."

While she ran towards the Entrance Hall, she finished her thought: "I am scared shitless by the idea of getting in the hall right now, even more of going outside in the night."

But nothing got in her way this night, the castle didn't move, and she reached the door in less than five minutes.

The great wooden door opened at her slight push and she stared into a moonlit park. O.k., she braced herself. The faster you do this, the better. She broke into a run for the lake, that was glittering calmly in the moonlight. Long before she was there, she could discern the silhouettes of two people.

She slowed down, now trying to get nearer without being heard. Finally she hid behind a bush, close enough not only to hear what was said, but also to get a clear view of the two people – two boys, as she could see now.

One of them was rather tall, a blond fifth-year, whose name she remembered from a conversation in her office. Draco Malfoy. The other she didn't know, he might have been first or second year, a skinny child with brown curls. He was stammering to the older boy, his speech interrupted by sobs.

"You cannot … make me… I can't do this any longer. … I … I want to …"

"Don't be stupid." Draco's voice interrupted the small boy's sobbing. "Do you really think that you can just run to … Haven't I told you what happens to cowards and cry-babies ? Haven't I ?" He had gripped the small boy by the shoulders and shook him. "What did I tell you ? Say it, what did I tell you ?"

"Cowards … cowards …" The small boy started hiccupping between his sobs.

"Say it, stop whining. What did I tell you ?" Draco repeated.

"Cowards … they die !" the boy wailed. Kate wanted to jump up.

"And what about Slytherins ? Come on, what did I tell you about Slytherins ?" the blond boy urged on, still shaking the small boy by the shoulders.

"Slytherins … stand." It was hardly understandable.

"And ? Go on, Slytherins stand. And, what else ?"

"Cowards run, Slytherins stand, Slytherins keep secret, but once they strike it will be deadly." The last words came out as a whisper.

"Good, you see ? Now, come back." Draco put his arm around the boy's shoulders and started guiding him back to the castle. Katze stepped out behind her bush and blocked their way.

"What are you two doing out here ?" she asked.

The tall boy shrugged. "Markus was homesick, and so we went for a talk. Why is that your business, anyway ?" he asked arrogantly.

Kate pondered the situation. 

Two boys out at night – that calls for punishment.

She was only the secretary – no authority with that position, better leave it be and talk about it to the headmaster.

She had been sent here, so it somehow seemed to be important that she act.

She had no idea what was going on, so better call the headmaster.

What she had just heard was somehow intriguing. Find out more.

That Draco was too arrogant to answer to her, why have a useless discussion in the middle of the night ?

Arrogant brat! 

"You were out after curfew. I am not only able to take house points, I'm also willing to do so. So, you better tell me, what you were doing out here." Kate stated in a matter of fact tone.

The little boy seemed ready to answer except for the steading hand on his shoulder.

"I'm waiting" Kate insisted. 

Draco stared at her. "I told you," he repeated with his arrogant voice, that made Kate immediately want to slap him. "He was homesick. I am headboy of Slytherin, so I went for a talk with him."

Kate nodded. "O.k. Are you better now ?" she turned to the small boy.

"I'm fine." he nodded choking, looking up, not to her, but to Draco.

The older boy gave him a reassuring nod, that moved Kate's heart. _Like an older brother_, Kate thought. For an instant, she felt, that she really liked Draco. Except for …

She couldn't make up her mind about this. The discussion she had heard scared her, but she was touched by the way Draco took care of the little boy. Was he taking his duty as head-boy that seriously ? Or was there some other reason behind it ?

"Bring the boy back to his dormitory." she finally said. "I won't take housepoints, but I will have to mention this incident to your head of house."

Both boys nodded. Then they made to leave, but Kate stopped Draco, holding him by one shoulder. 

"You are doing a good job, taking care of the younger children. Make sure, that nothing happens to him." she said.

Draco looked at her, unbelieving at first, but then he nodded.

"I will, miss. Thank you." he said, and the two boys left towards the castle's entrance.

Kate stayed behind. her mind in a turmoil. What had that discussion at the lake been about ? Draco really had seemed concerned – but, about what ? The boy ? 

She wanted to believe it. But she had seen it on his arm, so carelessly put over the child's shoulders – the dark mark.

For a second her breath stopped – that could not be true, could it ? Or was it a boys' joke – a tattoo, something to appear cool ? She looked again – and no mark could be seen on the boy's pale forearm. _Hallucinations_, Kate decided, coming from lack of sleep and a rather intense and eventful night. "Good night !", she nodded to the two boys, who made for their dormitories, and started back to her rooms as well.

But even though it was by now long past midnight, sleep wouldn't come and she didn't really expect it to. The secrets had been accumulated and the dire impression, that something was wanted from her, had become a certainty. Why else would the castle try to keep her in at all cost, then send her out to the lake the next night ? It was no question to her, that portraits, ghosts, even stairs and walls of this castle collaborated, and now she desperately wanted to know to what aim. Why, for example was she so urgently told to look after the boys ? They hadn't been in danger, had they ? And if, she hadn't done anything to help them – they just walked back to the castle together. Had she been supposed to hear their conversation ? Probably, but why ? Yet, it did give her a new insight into what it meant being a Slytherin. Well, she was one, too, wasn't she ? For an instant she heartily whished to be able to keep secrets, because that would mean, that she had some understanding of what was going on.

Right tomorrow morning she would have to ask someone about it. But whom ? That brought up the next question. How far were the inhabitants of the castle involved in all this ? Were they part of it ? Was Dumbledore ? Was Snape ? What was all that about Snape anyway ?

Kate sighed. She couldn't find out now, and so she kept staring into the darkness until it dissolved into the first light of the early morning.


End file.
